I've begun freelance editing with a couple of online services and was so amazed at the errors in writer's profiles. Remember, these are supposedly professionals, who want to sell you on their writing skills. Here are a few of them:
*I am a college student my majors are Elementary Edcation, English, and Science with a minor in Social Studies.
I thought that was spelled “edumacation.”
*Willing to work with you to provide the results you want and need. Happy to personalize any speech or announcement as to make it more effective and more prone to listening ears. My writing is sure to sound as professional as any over paid half-wit and, given the right resources, I can assure that I can compile any amount of data in a clear and eloquent manner.
So why should I hire you instead of some other over-paid halfwit? Oh, now I see.
When you write, the reader doesn’t have to read, he just needs to listen to the sound.
*Job history… Being a Nerd; Being a Geek; Being a Propellerhead
So, you’ve never had a job, huh?
*our track record demonstrates our committment to our clients - overwhelmingly positive feedback and many perfect 5.0 scores.
Which is better than imperfect 5.0 scores, right?
*Hello Future Employer
My name is ****** I am 21 years old and live in Strathroy Ont. Canada. I am a Idependent Outsourcing Contractor. With a degree from **** District Collegiate Institute. and experience from the course Life Smarts / Job Smarts issued by Leads Employment Services Inc. I have minor knowledge in bussiness and marketing and am a certified typing expert typing upwards of 85 words per second.
My name is ****** I am 21 years old and live in Strathroy Ont. Canada. I am a Idependent Outsourcing Contractor. With a degree from **** District Collegiate Institute. and experience from the course Life Smarts / Job Smarts issued by Leads Employment Services Inc. I have minor knowledge in bussiness and marketing and am a certified typing expert typing upwards of 85 words per second.
85 WORDS PER SECOND! Every writer should take that Life Smarts / Job Smarts course if they can certify that sort of speed. And they even issue experience.
*I’m a freelance writer with a passion for writng, i proof-read all my own work as well as acedemic articles by several other writters, I Have also done some proof -reading for technical articles and advertising for a local electronics company. I have some experience with article writing incuding advertising and local news. I have an excellent grasp of the English language including punctuation, grammarand sentence forming. I admit I am a bit of a perfectionist but can offer dedication to any project and will focus and complete work to the best of my ability Although I am a rookie. I have 10 years freelancing experience.
So, which gives me the greater reason to use your service? The misspelling or the comma splices? Or maybe the fact you’re a rookie, yet have 10 years experience? Anyway, pick up a copy of eats, shoots, and leaves, huh?
*My name is Imran. I am from Sialkot (Pakistan
I am LOL impressed.
*I am join here for make some real money from my hard work.i have more than 10 years experience in online marketing,article writing ,promotion,camping and many more. but if you want authentic work then you must complete your work by me. – India
I’d hire a happy camper at the drop of a backpack.
*i can write different articles with a wide range of topics. i can make summaries and reviews as well. copywriting wouldn’t be a problem either though my greatest strenght would be with features.
And what’s your greatest weankess?
*I also expertise in SEO and I am familiar will all aspects of Search Engine Optimization.
And do you also expertise in use of the word “with?”
And do you also expertise in use of the word “with?”
*I’ve also wrote the sales side of the business.
Yeah, who cares about tense, anyway? You’re hired.
That's all for now. Hopefully I'll have a chance to blog more, since I have Fridays off in the summer.
John
