The Golden Rule

Sister Holly of the Holy Caninites here.

You know, I'm glad I'm a dog because humans are hard to figure out.

You see, they gave me this nice blanket.

I call it the "Golden Rule Blanket."

I love my blankie!

But sometimes they try to take it away and won't stop tugging.

And sometimes they get all upset if I play with it.

They tell me to stop doing that. 

Bad Hiney! Bad Hiney!

But I'm only following the Golden Rule.

The devil made me do it.

Bummer!

Holy Donuts, Batman!

The revelations have been revealed.

We have consulted our GPS and have been shown the way!

We have been researching the holy texts.

We have been perusing the ancient, sacred scrolls

We have found religion. Hallelujah!

It is the traditional religion of our tribe.

The truth has come down from on high.



We are the lost tribe of the bible.

What? You never heard of the Canine-ites?

We have been joined by Sister Holly, from the northern lands.

(She's actually our cousin, but we don't claim her)

Only canines are allowed. It's church dogma.

Here, the high priest hands the divine food to the two-legged accolyte.

The food is held up for the blessing.

And the church is enveloped in a spiritual glow!

We are happy with our new religion. And we're glad to welcome Sister Holly into the flock. I'm sure she's a very devout young lady.

After all, she's in charge of the fertility rites.

To Be Continued...

FEEL THE BURN!

 Does this chair make me look fat?

 Of course it doesn't! I'm perfectly perfect in every weigh. But for those of you who need help dieting, I've introduced my new Wait Loss Program - FEEL THE BURN!

You can eat anything you want. Glazy Donuts!

Cake!

Ice Cream!

Eat all you want! Here's how the program works.

 First, you need a horse.

Bark at him as loud as you can!

Then run all around and get ready to FEELTHE BURN

Keep running until your tongue hangs out!

Okay, here comes the burn. This step is especially effective if you ate Mexicans the night before.

I can feel the pounds dropping off!

Like I said, it's a Wait Loss Program. Wait until you have to go and you lose weight every time you poop, guaranteed. Look how skinny I am!

 

 

Not a real diet, you say? Poppy cocks. You diet your way, I'll diet my way. Grrrr!

The Great Glazy Donut Scandal

Hello, Sebastian Spade, Private Nose, here. I'm on the case of a dasturdly villain.

Secret Agent James Cocker and I bummed out. Someone hijacked our blog last week and said we'd been eating glazy donuts, which of course are unhealthy for us.

At first I was amazed.

And then angry.

I'm going to find out who did this terrible insult to our reputation. Let me tell you what really happened last week.

Daddy Man had picked some fresh fall asparagoose. Every one knows raw asparagoose is non-fattening, prevents cancer and provides fiber in your diet. Unlike donuts, it's very good for you.

And that's why I love it.

I even steal it off the counter.

As you can see, James hesitates for a moment--and you know what they say about he who hesitates.

Interception!

But he manages to get the next one.

And then slinks off to eat it in hiding. What? Does he think I'd steal it or something?

Anyway, you remember what I said about fiber. Oops! James can't handle it.

But don't worry, Seb Spade is on the case and I'll let you know if I find out who the hijacker is. I have my suspects.

Probably somebody cold and beady-eyed.