Hello. As I'm sure everyone knows, I'm Secret Agent James Cocker.
I've decided to let you know about top secret spy agencies. You know:
F.B.I. - C.I.A. - M.I.5 - K.G.B. - S.P.C.A. - P.E.T.A.
Some of these, you've probably already figured out from my earlier secret reports..
F.B.I. - Face Bends Inexplicably
C.I.A. - Candy Is Annoying
M.I.5 - No, you just had your third birthday, remember?
I'll tell you about the bad guy organizations by telling you about a recent operation.
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The case started with that lady over there.
You know her as MommyLady. |
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She looks friendly, I know, but I'm beginning to suspect she's really a double agent.
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She said she would take me to the S.P.A. to get my hair done. Notice how beautiful and curly it is.
I figured we'd have a beauty treatment and maybe stop for cupcakes or jelly donuts on the way home.
I should have been suspicious, but all I could think of was jelly donut.
Before I knew what was going on , I ended up at a place called Animal Adventures Grooming Parlor.
Adventures? Talk about false advertising. I'm turning A.A.G.P. in to the B.B.B.!
A young lady put me on a table and started pulling my hair. She kept asking me about someone named Matt and telling me how bad he was.
Matt's my cousin, but I wouldn't tell them anything about him. Instead I resisted.
That's when they put the muzzle on me.
They kept torturing me, but I called on my superpowers.
I wouldn't tell 'em nuttin'.
She said she couldn't straighten Matt out and he'd have to be "eliminated." She began torturing me with buzzing clippers.
I realized I'd fallen into the hands of the K.G.B.
Krazed Girl Barbers.
When she was done with me, I also realized what S.P.A. stood for.
Shaving People's Asses!
Secret Agents hate it when that happens.
