Who's MonkeyJohn?

I just realized anyone coming to this site will have no idea who "MonkeyJohn" is. It started about 15 years ago, when my nephew, Mike Hilinski was about 4 years old. His older brother, Matt, and my kids, Travis and Jackie told him that humans were descended from apes. And that I was the original ape. They said that he'd gotten my name wrong, it wasn't Uncle John, but MonkeyJohn. So the next time he saw me, he said, "Hello MonkeyJohn," and all the other kids yukked it up.

Later, when my kids' stories began to be published, I realised youngsters wouldn't know how to pronounce Bushore, so I changed my children's author pen name to MonkeyJohn.

When my first adult novel, Friends in Dark Places, was published, I attended a book signing with another author on Halloween. The book store asked that we dress up, so I bought an eye patch and pirate bandana. The other author, Sharon Oberne, is a reading teacher and asked if I'd be willing to read to the kids. Presto, MonkeyJohn the Pirate was born. Dickens went along the first time.

I found a cheap pirate hat in WalMart and became a regular at the Buddy Reading Club.

On Ocracoke Island, I bought a replica flintlock and an old sword.  Diane sewed me a pirate shirt and things progressed from there.

Last year the Buddy Reading Club received Presidential Citations and I was honored to give an award to a young author. My picture ended up in the American Reading Association's national newspaper. Now I sometimes read at different Norfolk Schools on National Reading Day, which also happens to be Dr. Seuss day.

Can you imagine hearing "Green Eggs and Ham" from a pirate. AARGH, I do not like green eggs and ham.

But sometimes, I'll read something written by MonkeyJohn

A Just Reward

by MonkeyJohn

A flying saucer floated down

and settled in my yard.

A ship from outer space, I guessed -

which wasn’t very hard.

It came down beside the doghouse,

way over by the fence.

Old Spot growled low and stretched his chain,

to come to my defense.

On trembling legs, I snuck up close

a camera in my hand.

With proof of this, I’d soon be rich,

be famed throughout the land.

Then with a whoosh, a hatch appeared;

a slimy thing came out.

A shapeless blob, with one dark hole

that seemed to be a mouth.

And sure enough, these words it spoke:

“We’ve watched you long from space,

examined you to judge your worth –

the merits of your race.

“We found you to be brave of heart,

so friendly, kind and true.

We have great power, knowledge, wealth;

all this we’ll share with you.

“We’ve noticed your great loyalty

a very precious trait.

We offer immortality.

Come join your friends in space,”

My gosh, I thought, it offers all,

this being from afar.

“Hello,” said I, “How kind of you,

to offer man the stars.”

An eye appeared, and looked at me

as though it found me odd.

“Man didn’t pass.  Now go away. 

I’m talking to the dog.”

Published in Beyond Centauri – July 2005